Understanding and Accepting My Limitations with Mental Illness

“But you’re smart. You graduated college, you’re thinking of graduate school,” my therapist says as I listen quietly to ways to respond to my schizophrenia. “I want to see to your writing,” my mom says as I listen quietly to ways to response to my anxiety. Psychiatry and psychology hasn’t failed me, but there are limits to what my professional helpers and my family can do for me. I realize that I have limits and that’s okay. Command hallucinations aren’t controllable through medication. Medication has a ton of side effects. Even psychiatry is having trouble finding biological interventions. What I have learned that is ideal is to be on the fewest medications than be on too many; even the few have side effects that weaken a person. I don’t want to be a person who is medicated with nineteen medications, and suffer the withdrawals from each. I take a few medications, one for my psychosis, one for my depression, and one for my anxiety. I’m glad I have a health care team that cares to limit the scope of my medications, just as I am glad I have family that want to know how I am doing while under tremendous anxiety pulsing through the my mind everyday. I am day-to-day working on these limitations and it is working.

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